Some people who seek help from Brighter Tomorrows have already disclosed abuse to someone they trusted, only to find they were not believed, executive director Jan Bruder said.
For those survivors, being heard and taken seriously can be the first meaningful support they receive.
"I think that's the most relief I see in folks is when they come here, and we share with them, we are here for you, and we believe you, and we are going to help you through this situation," Bruder said.
Brighter Tomorrows is marking 30 years of providing free, confidential support to survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Established in 1996, the program helped 253 survivors in 2025 and recorded 676 interactions. Its advocates assist with safety planning, medical visits, restraining order paperwork and court appearances, while helping people navigate the financial and housing problems that can stand in the way of being safe.
Bruder said survivors do not need a decision or plan in place before seeking help.
"I think people believe they must have a plan of action, they have to report to the police, or they have to get a restraining order before coming to us, and none of that is true," she said.
People can contact the program to ask questions, describe what they are experiencing, or simply to talk. They do not need a referral, and they do not have to be ready to leave a relationship or contact law enforcement.
Barriers to safety
That distinction matters because leaving involves far more than deciding that abuse must stop, Bruder said. A survivor may have no access to money, no reliable transportation, and no safe place to live. Moving can mean missing work and trying to provide for children while searching for housing that is both available and affordable.
There is also the danger of how an abusive partner may respond.
Bruder said those circumstances are often overlooked when people question why someone remains in a relationship. Advocates work with survivors to assess their needs and develop a safety plan, rather than assuming the same course of action will work for everyone.
In rural Monroe County, limited transportation and a shortage of affordable housing compound the difficulty.
Brighter Tomorrows does not operate an emergency shelter. Staff work with shelters in surrounding communities and help survivors explore other safe arrangements. When possible, they help prepare in advance by looking for apartments, seeking rental assistance, and gathering household necessities.
Sometimes a person needs to leave immediately, leaving advocates to help locate a safe place during a crisis.
Brighter Tomorrows works with organizations including Families First, Couleecap, and Family Promise to coordinate assistance. One agency may help with rent while another contributes toward a security deposit. Brighter Tomorrows can provide limited financial help when funding is available, but Bruder said the program cannot meet every need.
"I think the hardest thing is when we don't have financial assistance available, especially for things like rent or utilities," she said.
Transportation presents another challenge. Advocates can sometimes provide gas cards, meet someone at a safe community location, or arrange a visit around an existing appointment. Bruder said staff have met clients at health clinics, the courthouse, and other locations to reduce the burden of getting to the Sparta office. Phone and virtual support are also available.
Recognizing abuse
For some survivors, the obstacle to seeking help is uncertainty about whether what they are experiencing is abuse.
Abuse is not always recognized by the person experiencing it, particularly when there are no visible injuries, Bruder said. Some people describe a partner who yells, throws objects, or causes psychological harm, yet question whether it qualifies as domestic violence because they have not been physically hurt. Controlling access to money, monitoring a phone, isolating someone from family and friends, and making threats can also be part of an abusive pattern. Advocates use a tool called the power and control wheel to explain how those behaviors can operate within a relationship.
Bruder said sexual abuse can also go unrecognized when the person responsible is a partner. "Many of the people I've worked with don't think it's sexual abuse if it's their partner," she said. Those conversations allow survivors to discuss what is happening and understand their options without having to identify or explain every aspect of the abuse before asking for help.
For someone who has experienced sexual assault, that can include support at a hospital or clinic and a discussion of reporting options. Bruder said the program assists survivors who want to report to police and those who do not.
Advocates can also explain restraining order procedures, help complete paperwork, and accompany someone to court. They are not attorneys and cannot represent clients in the courtroom.
A survivor does not have to disclose everything during an initial conversation. Bruder said some people make a brief visit to learn about services, then take time to consider whether they want further help. Others receive support without sharing their names.
"You don't have to share any personal information with us," she said.
The program serves people of all ages, genders, and backgrounds, regardless of income. Support is available for abuse that occurred recently or years earlier, including childhood abuse that continues to affect someone in adulthood.
A part-time therapist provides some individual trauma therapy and leads support groups, although appointments are limited by availability. Bruder said access to mental health care remains a significant barrier.
Support beyond the crisis
Recovery also extends beyond the point when a relationship ends, or an immediate threat has passed.
"Just because someone left the situation doesn't mean that they processed it," Bruder said. "It doesn't mean that they don't need additional support."
Some survivors return to an abusive relationship and later hesitate to contact the program again. Bruder said they may worry about being judged or feel they have disappointed the people who helped them.
She wants them to know the support is still available.
"You can come back here as many times as you need to," she said.
Friends and relatives can also contact advocates for guidance. Bruder said supporting a loved one means respecting their decisions and staying available through a process that may take longer than others expect.
Bruder takes these conversations into schools, teaching students about safety, healthy friendships, and dating relationships. She asks children to identify trusted people they can turn to when something is wrong. In 2025, the program's education and outreach reached approximately 1,000 students and 400 adults.
"No matter what grade level I'm working with, I have students think of five people they can trust, and at least two of them I ask them to be adults because sometimes there are problems so big that our friends can't help us with that. We need someone else's help," Bruder said.
"We talk a lot about the difference between good secrets and bad secrets and things like that to make sure kids know how to get help and whom they can reach out to to get help."
Bruder said outreach also helps make services visible to men and LGBTQ+ survivors, who may face stigma or concerns about disclosing a relationship when seeking support.
The program relies on grants and donations. Financial contributions help address emergency needs that grants do not fully cover. Donations of new, unused toiletries and cleaning supplies help survivors set up a household or cope with financial hardship.
Support at Brighter Tomorrows can continue for months or years, depending on a survivor's needs. Bruder said she worked with one client for eight years, while others receive regular support without ever sharing their names. "They just call in, they get the support they need," she said.
"I always tell people when they come in for the first visit that we can be with them as long as they need us to be with them," she said.
For Bruder, the meaning of her work often comes through in conversations with survivors who call to say they have a home of their own, their children are doing well, and they feel safe. Those updates stay with her. "Even though we were just a small piece of that puzzle, we got to be a part of that story, and someone is in a safe place now, and things did get better."
Brighter Tomorrows offers free, confidential support to survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. No referral is required. You don't have to be ready to leave a relationship or report to law enforcement to receive help, and you can ask questions without giving your name.
24-hour crisis line: 1-888-886-2327
Office: 608-269-7853
Address: 505 Douglas St., Sparta
Website: mocobrightertomorrows.com
Advocates provide safety planning, supportive listening, assistance with restraining order paperwork, and support during court appearances and medical visits. Financial assistance depends on available funding. The program does not operate an emergency shelter.
In immediate danger, call 911. If someone monitors your phone or internet activity, use a safer device to seek help when possible.
Monetary donations help Brighter Tomorrows meet emergency needs that grants may not fully cover. The program also accepts new, unused toiletries and cleaning supplies. For donation information, call 608-269-7853.
Comments
No comments on this item Please log in to comment by clicking here